How to have a slightly better year next year
A new year is almost upon us. The rare gift of extra downtime during Christmas break creates an opportunity to help us live a slightly better year next year. Wouldn’t that be nice?!? And, I promise it doesn't have to take more than a half an hour to get the basics done, to get you situated.
What is likely the easiest way to have at least a slightly better year next year?
From my vantage point it's about simply reflecting on your greatest felt needs and putting together some basic action steps to help you meaningfully address those needs. I will go into much more detail about how to go about that shortly, but first let me hit the traps that most of us can fall into when it comes to New Year's resolutions, because I want to help you avoid those if at all possible.
The problem with New Year's resolutions
What is agonizing about New Year’s resolutions is how we can start out with such great resolve, and then it all massively implodes within a few weeks. Then we're more discouraged than ever after a few agonizing rounds. What often tends to happen to most of us is that when making New Year's resolutions, we fall into some kind of manic delusional state, where we naively set wildly idealistic goals, completely ignoring our limitations and imperfections, and anticipate miraculous execution on things like over the top weight loss goals, devotion plans, relational dreams or work ambitions. Or all of the above!
So what can we do? How can we approach 2025 without going manic, and then without lapsing into absolute abdication?
The expectations battle
The wisest choice here appears to be how do we have realistic expectations for ourselves and for this coming year? As weird as this might sound, the best way to have a slightly better 2025 and maybe even much better 2025, is by setting low expectations. Why low expectations? Because if we set goals that we can actually reach, then we have the opportunity to gradually increase one of our most important psychological resources, namely momentum.
Todd Herman, a fairly well-known figure in the world of goal setting and achievement, expanded upon this in one of his resources, which is one of my sources for this idea. When he was early in his career in the world of hockey performance coaching, he would ask his students to set two different goals, one that they were very confident they could reach, and one that was a stretch goal. The beauty of this approach, is that by definition his students would invariably experience some level of success, and therefore would grow in confidence and increase that coveted source of momentum.
So the first thing that I'm going to ask you to do, (to make this exercise as practical and motivational as possible), is to reflect and perhaps even pray about:
What are three things that you would love to make modest improvement upon in 2025?
(I believe three is a good number because that's very doable.) And again, we're trying to create momentum. If you are making progress on those three let's say by March, and feel like you have room for more, I would encourage you to add one at a time so that you don't lose momentum.
Perhaps take a few minutes right now to do write out those things.
Once you have those three things, I would like you to set two different goals for each one. The first would be the goal that you're very confident, as in at least 90% you can reach, and the second would be a stretch goal that you feel like you have a 50 to 60% chance of achieving.
Two illustrations
Let me provide two illustrations from my own life to help make this more concrete and doable.
As I reflect on my life, the two of the strongest felt needs for me are:
1: To increase my level of play and leisure, because that is such a wonderful form of renewal for me. It also gives me greater motivation to embrace my vocation with greater passion, because I know I'm taking care of myself well. This isn't he case for everyone, but I know that because I have a vulnerability to overextend in helping others, when I am doing a decent job of taking care of my body, mind, and soul, I know that I actually do better work in serving people.
2: The second area is my marriage. My marriage is an extraordinary gift in my life. My wife and I have been married 25 years and we are doing well. Yet, I also want to grow in my ability to demonstrate love to my wife through how I plan activities for my marriage, and do things that are special for my beloved.
While I have other areas of my life that are very important, (and frankly my relationship with God is the most important), I am gratefully doing very well on my devotional routine and growth in the Lord. Therefore, it's not needed on my list, because it's already in a good place. (I don't want to place extra burdens on myself when I already tend to do that so easily!)
So now that I've clarified two of the three areas, the next task is to set two different goals for each area, one very reachable, and one that's a stretch.
The Goals
For play and leisure it boils down to two different things: golf and tennis. Both of those sports are very renewing for me. A very reachable goal that would be motivating and energizing for me, is that in 2025, I play golf at least 3 times, and tennis at least 3 times. The reason that is a meaningful goal is because in 2024 I played golf once, and I didn't play tennis at all. I am very confident though that with summer vacation planned already, I'll play golf at least once, and that means I only need to play once probably in the spring and one more time in the summer and I'll have met my goal! That feels fantastic, nd gives me peace knowing that unless something catastrophic happens (e.g., I break my leg), I will actually make progress on something that is somehow really good for my soul, and will also help me bless others.
On the tennis front I have two gentlemen in mind that I'm confident I can play tennis with at least once, and there are tennis courts where we are spending our summer vacation, so I'm confident that I can play at least once there. Just now having written that down makes me more excited about 2025. That's a good place to be!
What would the stretch goal look like? Well, and this is certainly subjective, but I would say for me the stretch goal would be to play golf six times, and play tennis six times. If I could do that that would be fabulous. That will require me being more proactive, but it's exciting to think about the possibility of doing more than the goal I am very confident I can achieve.
What about the marriage front? What are some goals that I can accomplish that I feel very confident about in my marriage? First would be, a date night every other month, which is obviously 6 times a year. Second would be reading one book with her that we both agree upon that we finish by the end of the year. Third, would be to text her at least three times a week with words of kindness, affirmation, and appreciation. Those feel very doable, and again I feel more encouraged and hopful already. The stretch goals? A date night every month. Reading three books. Texting her five times a week. That's even more exciting!
How to keep track?
Now that you have the basic ideas down, the next challenge is: how do I make it as easy as possible for me to execute on these goals, and how do I keep track of them as easily as possible, so I can get a sense for my progress?
Having a little bit of structure in place creates a chance to check your progress which is very important in terms of accountability and again, in building that precious thing called momentum.
Tracking Progress
Tracking progress I would say is pretty straightforward. You can write out your goals in a journal, or on a Word document, or an Excel spreadsheet. Whatever is best for you.
The next thing is to create a way to track your progress, and remind yourself to do it. There are tons of apps that help with creating structure and tracking progress. The one that I use is call TickTick. I've tried a lot of different apps, and this one is really easy to use. You can set up repeating tasks in areas that are important to you, in my case for exampl , tracking how many times I text my beloved.
Wrapping up
Alrighty, you are squared away! You have some basic ideas that when combined create a very high likelihood of you being able to have at least a slightly better year next year.
I encourage you to take some time before the New Year to do this exercise. I'm confident, that if you take it to heart and incorporate the ideas, you will have not just a slightly better year next year but, Lord willing, a much better year.
Blessings to you on your wholesome pursuits.