When the Shepherd Needs Help

The pastor was at the end of his rope. The intense stress from long days of exhausting ministry had finally caught up to him. Burned out and bitter, he actually contemplated death as an escape.

Some might say that it was predictable considering his developmental story. His childhood was marked by early experiences with adversity, including being born into a time of social conflict and ethnic cleansing, with parents who initially struggled to care for his needs. Due to forces out of their control, he was later placed in a foster home with a wealthy single mother from a family and culture very different from his own. Struggles with his sense of identity and the inability to manage his emotional outbursts got him in trouble with the law. It was only much later that God extended a call to ministry. While he became a highly recognized spiritual leader with a unique gifting and was used by God to serve His people in incredible ways, there was still much heart-work that God desired to do in his life. 

An Unexpected Parallel

You may have never considered the story of Moses in the above terms, but once you notice the developmental dimensions preserved in the pages of Scripture, you can’t unsee them. Moses struggled with emotional dysregulation, delegation, and ultimately could be diagnosed with burnout and compassion fatigue. All together, these elements threatened his ministry and his life.

Facets of Burnout and Compassion Fatigue

Renowned burnout researcher Christine Maslach describes burnout as having three dimensions: emotional exhaustion, depersonalization of others, and a reduced sense of accomplishment. These three symptoms describe a process where a person becomes (a) emotionally depleted to the point that they lose a sense of pleasure or enthusiasm with their work; (b) they become cynical toward people and begin to put distance between themselves and others; and (c) they begin to lose a sense of accomplishment or effectiveness in their work.

Keep those three symptoms in mind as you read Moses’s desperate and heartfelt cry to God:

“Why have you dealt ill with your servant? And why have I not found favor in your sight, that you lay the burden of all this people on me? Did I conceive all this people? Did I give them birth, that you should say to me, ‘Carry them in your bosom, as a nurse carries a nursing child,’ to the land that you swore to give their fathers? …I am not able to carry all these people alone; the burden is too heavy for me. If you will treat me like this, kill me at once, if I find favor in your sight, that I may not see my wretchedness” (Numbers 11:11-15, ESV).

This passage reveals that Moses had, over time, unwittingly taken on himself duties that belonged to God alone. Confusing God’s responsibilities with his own caused him to  lose sight of the bigger picture, view God’s people with contempt instead of grace, and view death as preferable to life. What brought him to this moment of personal crisis? 

While Moses was a man of God who demonstrated incredible courage, we must remember that he was still a man. He was not superhuman. Moses, like you and I, lived with the limitations, vulnerabilities, and biological realities of a mortal brain and body. Moses, like Elijah, “was a man with a nature like ours…” (James 5:17). The Greek word homoiopathes indicates that the prophet experienced the same kinds of feelings and desires that we do.

The Trials of Leadership

Consider the fact that Moses, after 40 years of tending sheep, was called back to Egypt to confront one of the most powerful men in the world. Though God pledged to be with him, Moses was convinced that he was the wrong guy for the job. Put yourself in his place as he raised his staff and pronounced the successive judgments of God upon his home country. He saw the resultant suffering first hand and heard the cries of mourning parents as every first born son in Egypt died–what the Bible describes as “a great cry in Egypt; for there was not a house where there was not one dead” (Exodus 12:30). It would not be a stretch of the imagination to suggest that Moses’s former friends and acquaintances lost their sons or even their own lives. 

Consider the pressure he felt as he led hundreds of thousands of people to the edge of the Red Sea, only to be accused and slandered by the ungrateful people he led. God miraculously delivered His people. And now it was Moses' job to educate the newly freed slaves to love and obey the God that they had largely forgotten over 400 years of bondage in a foreign land.

After this dramatic series of events, Moses then finds himself as a referee for the interpersonal conflicts of the people. When his father in law, Jethro, comes to celebrate God’s victories with him, he sees how Moses is overextending himself by dealing with the people's problems from morning until evening. Deeply concerned for his son-in-law, he says, “What you are doing is not good. You and the people with you will certainly wear yourselves out, for the thing is too heavy for you. You are not able to do it alone” (Exodus 18:17-18). 

Although Moses did his best to implement Jethro's counsel, just one year later he suffered the emotional crisis described in Numbers 11. This raises the question: if Moses had truly grasped and fully applied Jethro's wisdom about shared leadership and embracing his limits, could he have avoided this breakdown altogether?

When Warning Signs Go Unheeded

Years ago, I was given a similar warning by a wise leader in the church I pastored: “We appreciate all the good work you are doing, but I’m concerned you are going to burn yourself out.” Unfortunately, my own experience with childhood adversity and trauma somehow kept me from really hearing what she said. When church culture unwittingly rewards overwork instead of warning pastors of it, burnout is almost always inevitable. After a season of personal chaos that was complicated by years of intemperate work habits, I found myself having panic attacks in the middle of the night. I reached out to an anonymous call center that supports clergy in times of need and was surprised when the psychiatric nurse on the other end of the line frankly stated that, in light of my circumstances and chronic overextension, I was due for a period of crisis. She wasn't surprised. She heard stories like mine all the time. It was only afterward that I began to understand how my developmental story had an oversized impact on how I viewed and engaged my vocation.

Groundbreaking research from the Seventh-day Adventist Theological Seminary and Duke Divinity School’s Clergy Health Initiative indicates that some forms of childhood trauma among pastors are roughly twice the rate of the general population. Pastors are more likely to have grown up with someone with mental illness and significantly more likely to have experienced childhood emotional abuse. If you are a Christian leader, whether a full-time pastor or a committed ministry leader in your local church, consider the possibility that, like Moses, you may be leading from a place of developmental adversity. Personal pain tends to make one intuitively understand the pain of others and sensitizes the soul to God’s call to serve others. However, childhood trauma cuts both ways and may also result in the kinds of struggles we see so clearly in the life of Moses, such as poor boundaries, struggles delegating, the inability to manage one's own emotions, and a dangerous slide toward burnout and compassion fatigue when the burdens become too heavy to carry.

Finding Your Jethro

I believe that God recorded the very real human foibles of His faithful servants to remind us that spiritual leadership is not immune from the same struggles today. Engaging these stories with an emotionally informed curiosity helps us apply them to ourselves, unlocking insights into God’s redemptive calling, and the healing that He extends to His servants today. 

If you recognize yourself in Moses's story, seeking help is wisdom, not weakness. Just as Moses needed Jethro's counsel, we need trusted guides to navigate the intersection of past wounds and present calling. Consider reaching out to a counselor who understands both faith and ministry's unique pressures. A skilled therapist can help you process childhood adversity, develop healthier boundaries, and grow toward more sustainable patterns of service.

As an ordained minister with a breadth of ministry experience, I am grateful to have the opportunity to walk with pastors in a therapeutic capacity. If you would like a free consultation to discuss your struggles with burnout or how difficult parts of your backstory could be hindering your ministry, I would be more than happy to connect and see if we might be a good fit. You can reach me at Jarod@finishwellgroup.com, or call me directly at 331-296-0879.  

The same God who called Moses despite his struggles desires not just to use you, but to heal you. Taking that courageous step toward professional support may be the very path through which God chooses to shepherd the shepherd's heart.